The Heart

This is the only place I believe that I can just ramble about things without fearing that people whom I know will spread words around.

I just feel like talking and talking and talking…Im in my second year of uni and its getting too much for me. I have work to go to, uni to attend to and a distance relationship to maintain if I want a happier future. Honestly, im at point break! Uni and work is something that I think Im able to juggle around and work something out around it, so thats sorted. My relationship, now that has been a battle for the past 6 years. 

My guy is an amazing person both inside and outside. I fell in love with him not because he liked me alot back in collage, but because of his pure heart and intentions  he had in life, maybe lame for some people, but its something i really wanted. See, througout my whole teens years, i swore i will never get a bf or marry for the sake of love just because of seeing so many married couples, coming to my house, talking to my parents about how unhappy they are and need I say endless tears, quarrels, sometimes either one of them running away from their home and putting a night at my place. It was something that really horrified me. I surely didnt want that kind of life, and i surely never wanted to get married. Period!

Then my family decided to migrate to Australia, for education purpose and we all agreed without even thinking about what we will be leaving behind. Honestly I did it for the sake coz I thought I wouldnt have to do my SPM at all, boy was i wrong! long story short, two years aftr that we got our visa, by that time I only knew D for a few days and we really liked each other. knowing that i was leaving in two months and returning God-knows-when, we decided that we’ll give it a shot, he propose, i accepeted and we took it from there.

Distance is really really no fun at all. Yes there is the excitement part where you meet him at last and everything seems to be like a fairytale. Its not. You go through thousands of fights, quarrels, misunderstandings, blaming each other, swearing ur heads off, and the list goes on. But in the end, we both still find each other loving each other so much, that we cant afford to let go. its been 6 amazing bitter sweet years.

Currently, its not smooth sailing. He wants me back home and I have just 1.5 years to complete my degree and I’m going back to homeland for good. One thing about this relationship, it has thought me to be really patient. Someone once said, you gotta have truck loads of patients and mercy when u get married/in a commited relationship. And to just be patient with him and his words sometimes, it takes my whole life’s worth. 

I just feel like rambling, complaining to someone and crying! I knw some people might say, “You knw, i think u should start thinking abt yourslf and this rshp”…well the thing is, I have, and im happy whenever im around with him, he takes care of me, feeds me when he has to, loves me, cares me, has put me to sleep, whatelse do i want? Im happy. I just need this degree as a back up in my life, that is all…I really wished at times he can just understand why im doing this…